Im brilliant!

I was thinking that if i had a bigger place or could do this with a friend who had a house,i could start a mommys day out program.3 days a week i could watch 3 or 4 kids for 4hrs and charge 25 a kid. Maybe 2 fridays or saturdays a month do it in the evening.that would be 2000 a mth PLUS i could get a part time job and make another 600 a mth. Plus i get child support. Im a genius!! Owen is starting to walk. Hes so proud of himself too. He laughs and falls over and laughs more. Hes such a happy baby! We are having his bday party at gymboree.not the store but the play place. Its only 170 and they provide everything but the cake. Champ and i are getting along well. Im really starting to trust him and feel comfortable with him.i think he is starting to trust me too.i just need to watch what i say when i get mad. It makes me have more confidence in people bc we went from hating each other to actually being nice to each other.i dont care what other people say,he has a good soul.

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I just love picking my baby up after work and seeing his face. Hes so happy and sweet and warm! I LOVE HIM!!! He was in his car seat and taking off his socks and hysterically laughing.then he started shaking them and yelling like he was mad at them.i always wonder what he thinks.he loves music. I had a dream he was a drummer and hes got really good rhythm for a 9mth old! Me and his dad want him to be a baseball player but he will probably join a band and beg us for money.but if he wants to then i will support him.

Doing this from my phone

Owen is doing so good.hes still in the 90th percentile for height and 50th for weight but i was told thats perfect. He eats all the time but hes also always on the go. He is so smart but hes got a lot of attitude. He shakes his fist and tells me no! I bet he will listen to his dad. Sometimes he scares me.. But we are getting along really well. Hes a very loving and sweet dad. When i first started talking to him i thought he was an ass but now i think hes one of the best guys ive ever met.and if whatever guy im with has a problem with him being around then they can leave.i have so much stuff to do before we move. I have to get a job but i dont know when to start looking bc its weeks away. I need an apt,i think owen will go to his cousins daycare,and i need to figure out how to get my furniture down there.i dont really like Bentonville anymore but i dislike little rock more. Owen needs to be close to his dad though and he has to live on base down there.otherwise i would beg him to move here!

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My baby can stretch and suck it's thumb and it hears my voice and it has vocal chords now. It also PEES inside me. One of the many "beautiful" things about pregnancy. I'm still unclear on exactly when I will be able to know what it is. I've heard everything from now to 20 weeks is the earliest. I have an OB now and I'm going on August 1st so I will ask him all those questions.

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I hate being pregnant. I wish I was having twins b/c I want to have 2 kids but I never want to be pregnant again. And I have to take so many huge pills and get so many pap smears and there's a lot of needles involved! But I guess needles and pap smears are nothing compared to pushing a baby out of your vagina.The cervix only dialtes to the size of a softball...I got to see my baby again. It went from 1.4cm to 3.6cm in 2 weeks. I went from measuring 7 weeks 5 days 2 weeks ago,to 11 weeks 3 days and I'm only 10. So by the time I have this baby,it's going to be like giving birth to a 1 mth old child. It's HUGE! At my 20 week check up they will probably tell me I am measuring 25 weeks. GOOD BYE SEXY BODY!
Champ doesn't ever want to see the baby. He wants to know what sex it is and when it's born,but he doesn't want to see it ever. I told him he would regret it and he said that's between him and God. Whatever,it's going to be between him and the court b/c I will take him. I don't care how freaked out he is,he's a man and i'm going to make him act like one. If he would grow up and stop being a pussy,then I would be a reasonable person. I wasn't even going to ask him for child support b/c he would have to drive 4-5hrs. one way to pick up his kid and that would be $150 every trip...then he has to bring it back,that's another $150. I just feel bad for him having to do that. BUT HE'S NOT GOING TO DO THAT AND SO HE CAN JUST PAY CHILD SUPPORT! And he thinks that I want to have some kind of relationship with him and I don't at all,I just want him to be a dad. I wasn't even going to talk to him anymore but then I found out i'm pregnant and so now I have to talk to him and i'm not being all dramatic and a jackass and he needs to have the same respect for me. It's not about me or him,it's about our baby. But whatever. I will do a better job alone. It's better to have no dad than a bad dad.

pregnancy poems

I found some good poems about being pregnant,some are mushy,some are funny.I'm pregnant...this is one of the only times in my life I'm allowed to be super emotional!!!
*In six months' time,
When my body is mine
And I can eat what I please

I'll eat pate and tripe
Drink wine and Red Stripe
And mountains of unpasteurised cheese.*

*As I write this I am aware
of Feelings Deep of How Much I care

You grow inside me little heart beating strong
though I had my doubts I now know it's not wrong

You weren't planned but now I know
how much you are wanted as each day you grow

I pray for your health I ask God each day
to let you be healthy in every way

You aren't an accident you're not a mistake
you're the best of surprises two people could make!

*My life is your life
You breathe as I breathe
I am making a person
I can hardly believe

You are all that I am
And all that I do
My whole world waits
For the arrival of you

It was such a suprise
To find you were there
Then all of the tears
Came from no-where

As my cheeks were damp
With tears of suprise and joy
I started to wonder
A girl, or a boy?

We have not even met
This much is true
But I can't imagine
My life without you

For now my sweet child
I will just have to wait
For the delivery
Of my fate

So until your arrival
Patience is fine
But I can't wait to kiss you
Sweet child of mine

*They didn't tell me....
About the way I'd feel about being fat
As my tummy grows bigger, feeling unattractive
They didn't tell about all that.

They didn't tell me....
About the sickness, my head constantly down the loo
They made it sound as if it wasn't too bad
Is that what they told you?

They didn't tell me....
About the aches and pains
As my body is stretched to the max.
I feel they let me into this without knowing all the facts!

They didn't tell me...
About the sleepless nights
When you play football with my ribs
And it gets worse as you get bigger
I think they told me fibs

They did tell me...
That I would bloom, I'd look perfect from the start
I felt fat and bloated
I must have slept right through that part.

But they did tell me...
Of the way I'd feel when you were here
They said I'd be so happy
And maybe shed a tear

They told me....
That my world would change
And that is more than true
They told me it was worth it
If at the end I could have you

My Baby

*Hello Mummy,
are you there?
I can't see you yet
And the wait I can't bear.

I'm inside your tummy
But I can hear your voice
I want to come out
But it's not my choice

You keep me warm
and feed me too
I know you'll love me
My whole life through

I hear your heartbeat
It calms me so
Will I hear it outside?
I just don't know

But one thing is sure
When I come out of your tummy
I know life will be good
Coz' you are my Mummy

*Running errands and talking on the phone,
I am pleasantly reminded that I am not alone.
Little tiny hands a precious rounded knee
pushing and twisting that no one can see.
Oh sweet child kicking up your heels,
it is our little secret that only I can feel.
I look forward to your birth,
when I can kiss your skin,
but for now I will just smile,
As I feel you play within.

*Blessings upon you, my baby unborn
Safely inside me, asleep and so warm,
Sleep must come easy to those who are unborn,
As the maker so silently fashions your form.
Sleep, while you can, so watery and warm,
For outside this world is a terrible storm,
Soon you'll discover the taste of your tears,
So sleep now my loved one, my Baby, my Dear.

*"If Men Got Pregnant..."

Maternity leave would last two years... with full pay.

There would be a cure for stretch marks.

Natural childbirth would become obsolete.

Morning sickness would rank as the nation's #1 health problem.

All methods of birth control would be 100% effective.

Children would be kept in the hospital until toilet trained.

Men would be eager to talk about commitment.

They wouldn't think twins were so cute.

Sons would have to be home from dates by 10:00 PM

Briefcases would be used as diaper bags.

Paternity suits would be a fashion line of clothes.

They'd stay in bed during the entire pregnancy.

Restaurants would include ice cream and pickles as main entrees.

Women would rule the world!! :-)

*What's a Mother's Work Worth?

This was a short article in my May 2002 Family Circle

A Whopping $641,900 annually, according to the 2001 Mother's Day Study conducted by Edelman Financial Services. Last year mother's earned a $64,800 raise, say Ric Edelman, study designer, financial and author of Discover the Wealth Within You (HarperCollins). The pay scale is derived by totaling the average salaries of 17 occupations that a multi-tasking mother performs during the course of a year, including executive chef ($64,800) child-care worker ($15,400)
psychologist ($47,000), housekeeper ($14,600) and management analyst ($56,500) and animal caretaker ($17,200). How does mom's salary measure up against other well-known head of the house-The White
House, that is? The President of the United States earns $400,000 per year-less than the projected salary for mothers. Then again, the president probably doesn't have to cook or take care of the pets.

*If a child lives with criticism,
He learns to condemn.
If a child lives with hostility,
He learns to fight.
If a child lives with ridicule,
He learns to be shy.
If a child lives with shame,
He learns to feel guilty.
If a child lives with tolerance, He learns to be patient.
If a child lives with encouragement,
He learns confidence.
If a child lives with fairness,
He learns justice.
If a child lives with security,
He learns to have faith.
If a child lives with approval,
He learns to like himself.
If a child lives with acceptance and friendship,
He learns to find love in the world.

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I feel good today,I guess b/c i'm getting closer to my 2nd trimester. My energy level has really picked up. I'm going to try and do something with Matt tonight but I don't see that happening. He's a dumbass. Nevermind,fuck him,I don't ever want to see him again.I only need one child.

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Maybe I'm getting ahead of myself,but my mom actually showed me a house that is so pretty and in a great location and that I could totally afford! The only problem is my credit and I don't know if I would be able to get it. I think I may have to spend the next 2yrs cleaning up my credit and saving money and then buying a house,but if I can get this one I will take it!
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I went to the dentist and apparently my wisdom tooth on top has broken and is infected,i have an infection all the way into my muscle(does that make you want to kiss me?!). It feels like someone punched me in the eye! The rest of my teeth are great,I guess I just have bad luck.I'm so glad this happens right when I get pregnant. The dentist was sitting in the chair next to me reading a book about pregnancy and dental work,trying to figure out what he could do for me. he said that he could give me an antibiotic and see if it starts to feel better in a couple of days and THEN take it out,or he could right that second....I decided to wait a few days. Which I regret. I wish he would have done it today and gotten it over with. I'm sure I'll feel worse pain after I have this baby...I should just suck it up and get over it.


Today has been so horrible. My teeth hurt SOOOOOOOO BAD and I found out it's b/c i've been grinding my teeth while I sleep. Which is what the dentist told me a few months ago when they hurt just a little bit and so he told me to get a mouthgaurd and I never did.I would love to just take a vicodin and pass out but I obviously can't do that. i can't wait to have this baby. I just worry too much about everything,I hate being pregnant. I know some people absolutely love it but I'd much rather skip the whole thing. And it feels like I've been pregnant for forever but it's only been 9 weeks. I think it's b/c I found out so freaking early plus I knew since the day after. Anyway,my life is boring and i'm tired.